Weekly Headlines

§  Bitcoin, schmitcoin. Let's play piggyback on the blockchain

Cryptocash isn't cool any more – and its core mechanism is being hijacked

§  We forget NOTHING, the Beeb thunders at Europe

Here are the pages dropped into Google's 'memory hole'

§  Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

The IANA Lady's not for turning

§  Telstra, Voda bag blackspot bucks

Oz government slings $385 million to connect rural mobes

§  Facebook! Exfiltrates! Yahoo! Security! Boss!

Uber pickup fills Menlo gap.

§  Win the business services race with run-book automation

Stay ahead of demand

§  Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber

How will you stop us, Frenchies! Mmm, with baseball bats

§  Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?

Voluntary redundo for staff managing O2 clients

§  SCC: Look at our bulging figure(s). We're fatter than some MSPs

Ignore crashing product sales, that was planned... honest

§  'Backronym' crowdfunds itself into Oxford English Dictionary

Reg favourite joins 'meh', 'twerk' and 'yarnstorm' in bulging lexicon

§  Pirate MEP pranks Telegraph with holiday snap scaremongering

Torygraph skiing correspondent spun by wild Facebook lawsuit claims

§  UN corruption cops commence probe into domain-name and patent body WIPO

Worry Gurry, super scurry, call the troops out in a hurry

§  GoFundMe shows users how it's done, cashes in with $600m valuation

Convincing people to give money to other people is a lucrative business

§  Facebook frees Messenger from its gilded cage

Fruits of the WhatsApp acquisition

§  Oz politicians SUCK at drafting trade agreements

Productivity Commission blasts TPP-style negotiations while US passes 'fast-track' bill

§  Juniper pals up with Ruckus Wireless, targets Cisco (again)

Aruba? Never heard of 'em

§  Hey, Sand Hill Exchange. Shouting 'blockchain!' won't stop the Feds

Worstall on Wednesday Innovation meets the law, comes a distant second

§  Do svidaniya to public record as Russia passes NEED to be forgotten bill

Parliamentary lower house pushes it through, no worries

§  Three-way EU Big Data privacy wrestling match kicks off

Euro Parl, Commish, EU countries slip on singlets

§  Raising a stink in court: Innocent poo banditry warehousers win $2.2m

Employer DNA demand evidently not the dung thing

§  Kiwis to farewell 'global mode' browsing

TV broadcasters build crumbling wall around New Zealand

§  Singapore netizens slap silks for copyright bullying

Internet Society Sg takes aim at Dallas Buyers Club letters

§  WikiLeaks spaffs files showing NSA spied on French presidents

Cheese-eating surrender monkeys call emergency meeting

§  Second agent takes plea deal in Silk Road misconduct case

No, this doesn't mean Ross Ulbricht is getting out of jail. Ever.

§  Another CEO goes overboard from Jay Z's Tidal music website

Ninety-nine problems and staff retention is one

§  Former Cisco money chief cash-lands at Red Hat

Calderoni traverses extremes from tech giant to healthy Linux distro

§  Senior execs at NTT Com Security quit, but not with immediate effect

CEO Church, chief beanie Luntz out by end of next month

§  Give us your software BlackBerry, we love it. The phones? Meh

Perky licensing revenues offset by slow decline in hardware sales

§  Amazon enrages authors as it switches to 'pay-per-page' model

Good news for readers with short attention spans

§  Ingram Micro feasts on European old-mobe specialists

Wolfs down CANAI and Clarity Tech to 'own' the services lifecycle

§  GCHQ: Security software? We'll soon see about THAT

Greenwald pulls 2008 reverse-engineering doc from bulging Snowden file

§  Germany says no steamy ebooks until die Kinder have gone to bed

Sour krauts stiffen up with 10pm smutty story watershed

§  Nokia files for EU permission to buy Alcatel-Lucent

Decision due by July 27

§  Slippery Silk Road spook will plead guilty to duping dealers

(Almost) untraceable $820k cash siphon too tempting for sorry security bod.

§  Greens back inquiry into Aussie video games industry

Where did the game studios go?

§  Australia gets its Internet filter after Senate vote

Opposition? We've heard of it

§  Anakin Skywalker chased by cops, crashes podracer into tree

Not so much 'Luke, I am your father' as LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING

§  How Music Got Free and Creatocracy

Page File What happens when an entire generation commits the same crime?

§  Cupertino GIVES IN to Taylor Swift, will pay Apple Music royalties

Singer bites fruity firm, Eddy takes Cue

§  Oz goes mad with the ban-hammer

240 games banned since March

§  20 years ago this week, Microsoft just about killed Australian PC manufacturing

Remembering the demise of Osborne Computer

§  Assange™ celebrates third year in Ecuadorian embassy broom closet

President says he's welcome to stay 'for the rest of his life'

§  Parting is such sweet sorrow: eBay sells fat stake in Shakespeare-crazed Craigslist

Unhappy marriage ends in divorce

§  UK.gov loses crucial battle in home-taping war with musicians

Legal challenge to copying music for private use

§  Attenda for sale this year? Not on your nelly, says CEO

Equity backer eyed exit but is holding off for better 2015 financials

§  It's sales boom time for (some) converged infrastructure vendors

Integrate all the things!

§  Logicalis takes wrapping off shiny Brit-based SMC practice

Euro boss: I said we'll push into services, and by God we will

§  Where's the Network Services framework at? Uh, dunno, says UK.gov

Delayed £2bn procurement structure now in its 42nd week

§  $125m VC war chest awaits NTT Com Security's outgoing boss

‘Unique challenges in Europe in the post-Snowden era’

§  AMD: We're not splitting our gfx and servers biz, ignore all the rumours

Firm dismisses break-up or sale talk but something's got to give

§  Microsoft sez soz over Windows 10 'freebie' balls-up

'This is a very complex topic', grumbles bumbling Redmond OS chief

§  CSC insiders: 800 job cuts will hit service delivery for punters

Management respond by saying 'nah, it'll be fine'

§  Windows Phone is like religion – it gets people when they are down

BlackBerry users fleeing doom-ridden devices land at altar of Microsoft

§  BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

Episode 8 Please refer to the procedures, I like things just the way they are

§  GCHQ heard you liked spying, so spied on itself spying on you

Privacy violations in spy-on-spy spying just human error, says intelligence commish

§  Cambridge boffins: STOP the rush to 5G. We just don't need it

+Poll Building 4G coverage should be the priority, not yet another standard

§  Micron blames dismal PC sales for EVERYTHING

But biz thinks 3D NAND will sell like hot cakes and fix all the financial badness

§  Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way

CEO sugar-coats the medicine for Nokia phone biz

§  UK.gov spaffed billions into IT projects at 'high risk of failure' last year

Annual Report still makes for ‘encouraging reading’ though

§  Google creates cloud code cache

Chocolate Factory wants to be your GitHub, eventually

§  Microsoft's new mission statement: It's all about doing MAGICAL THINGS

Nadella's latest mega-memo has Redmond transforming the WORLD

§  ICANN's leaving the nest, so when will it grow up?

Comment The org that will run the internet still acts like a teenager

§  Hey devs. Forget Siri – Amazon's Alexa will show you a $100m good time

Online bazaar provides APIs and SDK for voice assistant

§  Yahoo! displaces Ask in Oracle's Java update crapware parade

Desperate tactics from the Purple Palace

§  US SaaS firm bows to Snowden concerns with UK-based datacentre

Clarizen sets Euro customers' minds at rest

§  Dell cooks up cloud recipes with Microsoft, VMware and OpenStack

Would you like a sprinkling of finance on that, sir?

§  FeedHenry now Red Hat Mobile App Platform, gets OpenShift cloud integration

Red Hat Summit Company makes play for mobile app devs

§  Bank of England CIO: ‘Beware of the cloud, beware of vendors’

Old Lady grumbles about new thingy

§  Google meets more EU apparatchiks than anyone else in Brussels

It's lobby central as the Chocolate Factory leans on the lawmakers

§  Pure's mass disk drive killer lays out plans for flash hegemony

Comment All-flash array pusher is agin' retainin' rusty rotators

§  How to turn application spaghetti into tasty IT services

Unscramble your systems

§  Red Hat: PaaS or IaaS, everything's about CONTAINERS now

Red Hat Summit New private cloud offerings go all-in for Docker and Kubernetes

§  Docker shocker: It's got a commercial product, and is ready to SELL IT

DockerCon 2015 Look, ma, we're a real business now

§  Microsoft releases free Office apps for half of all Android phones

Word, Excel, and PowerPoint up for grabs

§  Docker and Microsoft unite Windows and Linux in the cloud

DockerCon 2015 Redmond demos cross-platform containerized apps

§  Privacy advocates descend on proposed domain name change

Public comment period swamped over "commercial" site rules

§  EU threesome promises good times for data protection reform

Negotiations rule out dropping personal data protection below mid-1990s level. Phew!

§  Ex-Microsoft chief rolls elastic-SQL challenge to Amazon Redshift

Snowflake's Muglia hopes to storm the cloud

§  Copy Data Management: What it is and why you might need it

A giant step for data protection, says Trevor Pott

§  CIA-funded spy data safe Palantir doubles in value in 18 months

Good times in spookland as biz gains $20bn valuation for latest funding round

§  Verizon outage borks phones, TVs, internet for hapless East Coast folk

Update And the phone outage means you can't even connect to 911! Imagine that

§  Whoops, there goes my data! Hold onto your privates in the Dropbox era

Shake off your sluggishness and learn to live with shadow IT

§  First Microsoft, now IBM: Box deals are coming thick and fast

Integration of technology and cloudy moves prompt action

§  BT hit by data centre fire: Some ISPs just love watching the net BURN

Update Belfast blaze takes down public transport, police ombudsman's sites

§  Speaking in Tech: Apple crumbles to Taylor Swift. Let the disruption begin

Podcast And while we’re at it, why do music labels still even exist?

§  Login creds for US agencies found scrawled on the web's toilet walls

Poor security practices and lack of 2FA responsible for leakiness, says report

§  Wake up, sheeple! If you ask Siri about 9/11 it will rat you out to the police!

Also, shill scientists refuse to research whether jet fuel can melt steel beams

§  Online gov services are mostly time-wasting duplicates, says EU

Mystery shoppers find "life events" a challenge on the move

§  Facebook dunks Instagram in new search filter sheep dip

Photo-sharing service comes up smelling of Zuck, seeking ad cash

§  Delphix gets a pat on the back in Gartner's latest tea leaves reading

Hopeful Actifio also receives kind words in Magic Quadrant

§  Pure Storage snatches chief marketeer from rival EMC

Latest boardroom trophy hire brings AFA vendor more corporate cachet

§  Blurred lines, as consumer tech swallows delivery of BIG IT

Nice devices, now speak 'enterprise' to me

§  Dell lobs more irons into the hyperconverged market fire

More Xeon in less space

§  Understanding the network energy efficiency challenge

Dr Kerry Hinton ticks off seven key energy-saving techs for El Reg

§  Google's new free music service is classic Google: Take someone's idea and slap ads on it

Web giant hopes to upset the Apple cart

§  The wonderful madness of metrics: Different things to different folk

Or, how I learned to stop worrying and verify

§  NetApp cackles as cheaper FlashRay lurches out of the door

Not only were rumours of its death exaggerated – now it's cheaper too

§  Larry Ellison: Oracle's going to WAR against Amazon cloud prices

Things heat up in Glacier data grab

§  Komprise aims to kill data sprawl with virtualising software

Next on the list: Silicon Valley's data management startup sprawl

§  Gazing at two-tier storage systems: What's the paradigm, Doc?

Comment Cloud’s fundamental role in primary storage analytics assessed

§  ISC² launches security cert training for cloud-defending cherubs

'Making a bible of cloud knowledge'

§  Vodafone splashes €2 BEEELLLION to kick German TV sideways

Achtung, die Engländer haben mein Tellyboxsignalfrequenzen gekauft

§  Ubuntu scaling up VM addressability

Canonical's a Fan of the cloud

§  It begins: Time Warner Cable first ISP accused of breaking America's net neutrality rules

Complaint hits FCC's desk just days after regulations kicked in

§  VMware builds a magic mirror for containers and a desktop cloud

Developers see containers, ops teams see VMs, VMware sees possibilities

§  Uber app will soon maybe track you 24/7, cry privacy warriors

EPIC fail for taxi app upstart – if claims come true

§  Inside the Open Container Project: Docker sings kumbaya

DockerCon 2015 Linux Foundation-led effort promises a single spec for all

§  June 30, 2016: The day the US will hand over control of the internet

Better late than never

§  Even Apple doesn’t mess with Taylor Swift

Analysis It takes a pop star to clean up Silicon Valley

§  Cheeky upstart Mangstor hungrily eyes Fusion-io's pots of gold

Some seriously supercharged speedy server SAN

§  Docker unfurls software-defined networking, plugin blueprints

DockerCon 2015 New add-on system opens doors

§  Docker and chums unveil standards org for software containers

DockerCon 2015 Linux Foundation to oversee specs for containers and runtime

§  Fujitsu shrinks SMB file transfer metadata traffic jams

WAN optimiser weeds out extraneous duplication – and everyone's a winner

§  Breqwatr breqs hyper-converged mould with all-flash box

Trnqey applianc builds on OpnStac for prvat clod deplymnts

§  Facebook and Twitter queen Taylor Swift: Facebook and Twitter are RUBBISH

Refuses even to Tweet or Facebook her opinion of them

§  Virgin Media starts its broadband-of-the-gaps fibre rollout

£75m investment in Manchester, and 500 new jobs

§  Phone-home service Lebara launches prepaid TV offering

Roll up for Bollywood and Nollywood ... but no IPL cricket

§  GCHQ didn't illegally spy on Brit NGOs, tribunal rules

But spooks behaved unlawfully with intercepted data of two foreign outfits

§  Docker-ed vessel Portworx takes three Ocarina folk aboard

Container-aware storage startup unveils boxy software product

§  Polish airline LOT was grounded after 'IT attack' took hold

Surely we can't be stuck in Warsaw? You are, and don't call me Shirley

§  Giganto French telco merger: Altice makes eyes at Bouygues

EU and French anti-trust watchdogs play whack-a-mole with merger proposals

§  Failing to zap bogus reviews about your biz is illegal, snarls regulator

You're a fake, baby, you (probably won’t be able to) conceal it

§  Facebook SSD failure study pinpoints mid-life burnout rate trough

Burnouts peak early, then fall, before increasing with age. Like journalists, then

§  Can Said Ouissal really cut Violin’s sales mustard?

Will he be able to shift gear, despite no direct sales experience?

§  Post Office launches mobe service for aged greybeards

Counters brace for complaints that customers' TV remotes won't make calls

§  How should you manage your network's traffic performance?

On Demand Getting the internet to demonstrate

§  Mellanox wants to prise OEMs loose from Broadcom

Spectrum targets 25/50/100 Gbps Ethernet

§  SGI to flick switch on new Japanese super

2.65 petaflops for Uni of Tokyo

§  Taylor Swift boycotts Apple Music over no-pay-for-plays shocker

Dear Tim Cook, 1989 called – it wants its royalties back

§  Microsoft U-turns on 'free' Windows 10 upgrade promise for ALL previewers

Funny, that

§  Supermarket tweet: Twitter ankles balloon in product, places shopping frenzy

Next time you hear the beep, think of the fun ... Or not

§  Connected Data's Transporter private-cloud-in-a-box hooks up with the office NASties

Nifty little nicher adds filer sync'n'share

§  Google: Help us! Our search engine is STUFFED FULL of your 'revenge smut' pics

We'll kill unauthorized nudes ... if you ask nicely, says ad giant

§  John Fowler survives latest chapter of Oracle's Game of Thrones

He will report to Ellison, focus on engineering

§  OK, forget DNS for a sec. Why not shift IP addresses and protocols away from Uncle Sam?

Can we please just get out of this mess and on with our jobs?

§  FCC boss Wheeler: Shove off, big dogs – let the small telcos play

Wireless carriers may not be able to exploit subsidiary loophole

§  BT: Let us scrap ordinary phone lines. You've all got great internet, right?

Deregulate! But let us keep all the hardware, of course

§  The slow strangulation of telework in Australia

We need UPLOADS if we're not just watching TV

§  Australia leads Asia Pac in mobile broadband speeds

But only at the peak, our average mobe download is only so-so

§  Google to take another shot at a free Wi-Fi business

Chocolate Factory takes a trip in the self-driving DeLorean

§  Triple glitch grounds ALL aircraft in New Zealand

Radar and comms failure pushes Welly to manual

§  What is this river nonsense? Give .amazon to Bezos, says US Congress

US government tells ICANN to ignore government attempts at influence. Um…

§  Oi! 'Hands off America's Wi-Fi spectrum' yells, er, the cable lobby

NCTA doesn't like LTE-U

§  Tower of BT Bubbly: Fancy nibbling atop a strategic data hub?

Restaurant reopens for birthday bash, 1,400 lucky diners selected via ballot

§  Telstra wi-fi hotspots go dark ahead of commercial roll out

Will return sometime later this year

§  Thing users: you need national narrowband

Industry vets propose Oz IoT access net

§  ITU: we'll have 5G standards ready by 2020

20 Gbps air interface on the cards

§  Vegan eats BeEf, gets hooked

Bad taste still lingers

§  That shot you heard? SSLv3 is now DEAD

It's joined the choir invisible

§  MAC address privacy inches towards standardisation

IEEE hums along to IETF anti-surveillance tune

§  Cisco in single SSH key security stuff-up

Patch NOW, people

§  As the US realises it's been PWNED, when will OPM heads roll?

‘Most devastating cyber attack in US history’

§  Dyre banking VXers LOVE Mondays, Symantec says

Hard-working scum maintain 285 command and control servers

§  BlackShades privacy raiding web rat gets five years in US cooler

US says remote access trojan had thousands of victims

§  We need to know about the Internet of Things, say US Senators

Your TV is your enemy, says Eugene Kaspersky

§  Samsung caught disabling Windows Update to run its own bloatware

Updated Who cares about your security? There's hardware to coddle

§  Killer ChAraCter HOSES almost all versions of Reader, Windows

Google Project Zero bod drops 15 remote code execution holes

§  Wind River VxWorks patches some TCP sequence spoofing bugs

1995 called, wants its vulnerability back

§  RubyGems slings patch at nasty redirect trojan holes

Could affect millions

§  Feds count Cryptowall cost: $18 million says FBI

Bad news Oz: you may have lost even more

§  SEC joins hunt for FIN4 attackers

Wants to net financial phishers

§  Hackers exploit fresh PC hijack bug in Adobe Flash Player, the internet's screen door

Patch now, or just dump the thing

§  National Archives finds OPM-style intrusion: No data theft found, though

Feds play security whack-a-mole across holey govt IT systems

§  Polish plane IT attack? Apparently not, just a simple DDoS

Turns out, it wasn't that big of a deal after all

§  SPICEWORKS FAIL: Are we ready for ‘social’ network administration?

Analysis Still more questions than answers

§  RBS sticks it to customers once again as IT woes continue

Want to flee? You can't ... because of our tech

§  Spiceworks in WTF-class social log-in SECURITY BLUNDER

Wake up chaps, this is serious

§  Pirate captain blasts Google for its 'mystery' Chrome blob

Not Ok Google, says irked open source Chromium collective

§  Redmond: IE Win 8.1 defence destroying hack ain't worth patch, natch

'Here's your $125k HP, now GO AWAY'.

§  Oi, UK.gov, your Verify system looks like a MASS SPY NETWORK

Academic eyeballs architecture, screams in horror

§  US is the world's botnet mothership, says Level 3

Not the way you want to lead the globe

§  Phishing gone: eBay patches to block session-jacking Magento holes

XSS, CRSF, and input holes fixed

§  Dev probes bad proxies, writes white hat checker, black hat DIY guide

We munch your cookies and inject ads but look HERE'S YOUR NETFLIX!

§  NIST issues 'don't be stupid' security guidelines for contractors

How's that OPM data going, then?

§  Stealing secret crypto-keys from PCs using leaked radio emissions

AM radio + HTC HTC EVO 4G smartphone = snooping rig

§  Webmail password reset scam lays groundwork for serious aggro

I didn't ask for this verification code, but here, you have it

§  SpaceX to launch Microsoft's HoloLens visors into SPAAAAACE

To boldly go where no augmented reality has gone before

§  Get your WELLIES to MARS: Red Planet reveals its FROZEN BOTTOM

Scarlet globe was covered in water 500,000 years ago

§  OOH, it's so HOT in here! All my ATMOSPHERE is coming off

Red dwarf's emissions strip away exoplanet's coverings

§  Kamikaze Rosetta probe to ram comet it's chased for billions of miles

Cosmic super-prang end to mission in late 2016

§  ESA launches new ground-monitoring satellite

Sentinel-2 will track terrain, ocean and environmental changes

§  THEY WANTED OUR WOMEN: Neanderthals lusted after modern humans

And vice versa, perhaps. There was interbreeding, anyway

§  SpaceX gets ready to crash barge-land ANOTHER rocket

Third time lucky, hopes Elon Musk

§  Pluto plastered in what looks like 1970s orange wallpaper – proof

Pics First color snaps reveal retro-tastes of alien world

§  US students prevail in rocket-powered egg challenge

Brits second as Paris stages international ovum-elevation showdown

§  Tim Worstall dances to victory over resources scaremongerers

Reg lecture Economist emerges triumphant at Reg summer lecture

§  THIS TIME we really are ALL DOOMED, famous doomsayer prof says

Continued survival of humanity starting to get embarrassing for Ehrlich

§  Say 'cheese'! Cassini probe ZOOMS IN on Saturn's craggy Dione moon

NASA: Spacecraft flies within 300 miles of icy surface

§  Sun like it hot: Philae comet probe wakes up, phones home again

ESA shifting Rosetta 'craft for better comms with lander

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